There is one plant that Thumbs is proficient at growing, peonies. I loosely give her credit for growing them because peonies are so hearty they really grow themselves. I've always thought peonies to be overly friendly and quite ostentatious! Really, they grow blooms so large and full that their stems can't even hold them upright! And the smell is so overpowering with its sickeningly sweet, spicy scent. It's enough to make one sneeze, which is what Thumbs usually does when she buries her face in those blooms to smell them!
If you think about it, peonies are rather plain creatures with the exception of their extravagant blooms. I think that's why they try so hard at being friendly, because once they are done blooming for the year they had better be your friend, otherwise you wouldn't give them the time of day. Mostly I ignore them, but I had a peony friend once. Her name was Razz. She was a good, loyal friend and boy, OH BOY, could she bloom! But I digress...
Thumbs has this disgusting habit of snipping off her peonies' blooms and putting them in a vase of water RIGHT NEXT TO ME on the table. I am forced to spend my days next to the sickeningly sweet, rotting, dead flowers of some poor nameless outdoor plant. Thumbs! Thumbs! A plant's blooms are her crowning glory! Oh, the atrocity of it. I don't even know these peonies outside, but I feel their pain. Even if they do go overboard on their blooms, no girl deserves to lose her blooms in her prime! And I certainly don't deserve to be subjected to having them in my living space. I know Thumbs has a heart, but she can be extremely insensitive about some things. Just imagine if she went to a dinner party where the centerpieces on the tables were the severed arms and legs of people of her community. Disgusting, right!? Yes, well, try recovering from a traumatic event in your life while living with that kind of tragedy right next to you.
I really do understand the human need to surround themselves with beauty, after all, I am a flower with a great sense of aesthetics! While I'm fortunate enough to live indoors and bloom multiple times a year so that my blooms are not lopped off for someone else's pleasure, it's hard to live with nonetheless. I am grateful that the outdoor flowers go dormant in the winter.
Thumbs, if you're reading this, please stop the uncivilized brutality of your outdoor plants! Or, at the very least, put the blooms where I don't have to see them!
Ciao! Geri
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